#21 Grease 2

I know, I know. This isn’t a Hallmark Movie. But I can’t help it. It must be done. It’s Grease 2, everyone!

This viewing will be the first time I’ve seen the whole thing, uncut, i.e., not edited for television when it airs on TBS or something. It was on HBO a few weeks ago, and it has been sitting in my DVR for tonight, when I’m up in a quiet house, all children asleep, and I can watch the full glory that is this sequel that is both more fantastic and way crappier than the original.

First number “Back to School.” The dance number is basically a lot of grapevine and clapping, with some twist aspects.

First thought is Maxwell Caulfield was super handsome. And Adrian Zmed’s pants are so.tight.

 

I don’t get this whole Pink Lady Code thing. The T-Birds are doofier than they were in the original – why are they cool? And Adrian Zmed has such a short-guy complex in this movie! I also don’t get why the Crater Face guy from Regular Grease is still there, wearing the same shirt as he wore in the first movie. Only this time he gets lines?

Tonight. We Bowl. Michelle Pfieffer is way too cool to “Bowl, Bowl, Rock N Roll,” because she’s wearing her sunglasses inside. But I don’t think the nuns in the scene get the sexual innuendo in this song. Out of the two musical numbers I’ve seen set in a bowling alley, this one is genuinely…second best.  (First place? Across the Universe “I’ve Just Seen a Face.”) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIYQqWWJzHU)

But then Michael Carrington shows up, super dorky with a guidebook on how to ask people to bowl. I refuse to believe that is a real thing.

The woman who voices Bobby Hill on King of the Hill plays Dolores in this movie.

Adrian Zmed does the cigarette trick where he holds it in his mouth. I have no idea how one can do that.

I don’t get the whole plot of the talent show. It seems like they are constantly auditioning for it.

It’s time for COOL RIDER!!!!!!!

How does Stephanie have a Pink Lady jacket that is reversible? No one else has that.

Reproduction Number. Always cut for time when it’s on commercial TV.  So I haven’t seen this number in years.  I.did.not.miss.anything.

I just realized where Jason Priestly got his hair inspiration when he was on 90210.

Who’s That Guy?

It’s a Cool Rider, That’s Who!

But Seriously, why can’t they figure out who he is. It’s not like he’s wearing a mask, he just has driving goggles on.

Next Number cut from commercial TV – “Let’s Do It for Our Country.” Another one I haven’t seen in years, and another one that a) has NOT aged well, b) is just gross and c) is sung off-key.

When Michael shows up at Stephanie’s gas station, he’s not wearing a shirt. That can’t be safe if he crashes. All that road rash!

They make out and he doesn’t take off his glasses. And amazingly, he loses his British accent when he wears his leather pants.

This movie also runs a lot faster than the original one – all of a sudden, it’s almost the end of the year?

Michael is having an existential crisis because Stephanie doesn’t want a normal guy under her Cool Rider exterior.  But he is a normal guy under the Cool Rider exterior. Oh, the drama. Oh the pain.

Another plot point I do not get is why Adrian Zmed is So Obsessed with Stephanie – there’s really no reason for this other than just.because.

Oh, the man version of “Hopelessly Devoted To You”, i.e., “Charade.” But it sucks. And doesn’t have the poetry of Sandy sitting by a kiddie pool – Michael is inner song-monologing while walking through the cafeteria with a tray of disgusting looking meatloaf.

Talent Show Night. But not before the T-Birds have a motorcycle chase through the streets with the Cool Rider. Stephanie is distraught that they chased him to the Dead Man’s Curve.

Good for Lorna Luft with her big dramatic scene! I hope she’s doing well.

“A Girl For All Seasons” was always my favorite bit of this movie when I was little. I don’t know why. Maybe I just liked the costumes. I wanted a Christmas Tree Dress.

It’s Dream Ballet Time. Well, it’s not really a dream ballet, but she does have her dream thing with the Cool Rider in Heaven. It’s super weird. She is dressed like some Greek Goddess for two seconds, and now she’s in a silver leather jacket. And Cool Rider Hates Shirts!

Back to reality, Stephanie is singing her own solo, with back up before she hugs her light up start to herself in despair. That’s some quality acting right there.

Lani Kay Lani Luau Time. This is another thing I didn’t understand. That Carnival at the end of Grease  seemed a lot more fun that this lame party. This is the worst use of tiki torches…oh, wait, never mind.

There doesn’t seem so much of a reason why Crater Face has to crash the luau, other than he just sucks. And for Cool Rider to back up, but this time, he doesn’t even have sleeves. See, I told you he hates shirts.

Oh, Wow, Cool Rider is Michael! No one saw that coming! Now he’s an honorary T-Bird, so Stephanie doesn’t have to break the Pink Lady Code. Oh, well, that’s good then.

Their final kiss looks like he’s eating her face. It’s gross.

Oh, wait, the movie’s not over until they sing one more time. Damn it. It’s such a pale imitation of “We Go Together” – I mean, it’s called “We’ll Be Together.” Way to be creative, songwriters!

Graduation and We’re Done with one last series of high jump freeze frames, because they can’t have a car fly off into the sky in this one, I guess. I so love how dumb this movie is – how Frenchie shows up in the beginning, but then never appears again; how bad the songs are; how I never realized they were all about sex until I was like, 20. Yeah. Well.  I heartily recommend you all to revisit Grease 2, but if you can’t, I’ll do it again, just so you don’t have to.